Dear Jen. You have commented on my blog posts in the past. I invite you to explore my most recent series. It is titled “Oh No I’m a Caregiver – Dementia – Our Cautionary Story.” These posts are of special significance to me. Dementia appears to be a reality destined to assault all of our lives in one way or another eventually. I believe that the story I have to tell – through my initial post and others yet to come at – has valuable insights to offer. For this reason, I hope you will read it and pass it on to others so that they might benefit from what I am learning and from those insights.

For example… My husband Jonathan, who has recently been diagnosed with dementia, is actually quite fine at this early stage. He is engaged in lots of cognitively powerful activities. He writes original memoir pieces that are very good and says this is the result of sitting in on so many of my writing workshops over the past forty-five years. He now finds more joy in writing than the drawing and music that were his usual creative pursuits in the past. This is good because, as you know, portraying characters and composing scenes require a deep level of focus and detail concentration which is very beneficial for him. He also loves jigsaw puzzling – the 1500-piece variety. Again much concentration is required plus he has fond memory associations of doing puzzles with his mom when he was a boy. He also reads a lot – challenging books, as well as his favorite New York Times articles. He does regular physical exercise and has also begun gardening at our church which has a large planted space in sore need of attention. Medically, he is taking a basic drug that has disappeared his brain fog for the timebeing. We also have excellent medical professionals on our team and on our side.

Dementia is not like the tv commercials portray it to be. Their purpose is to ramp up fear and sell very expensive, very dangerous drugs. There is a long, gradual period before extreme changes begin, and the aggressiveness these ads emphasize can often be mitigated with simple mood medications that are harmless and affordable.

Meanwhile, there is a real-life story to be told here of real-life experience. I hope you will read and share it. Dementia is a reality for many of us and, unfortunately, promises to be a reality for many more. Truth is our best armor against being cast into despair by the prospect. I hope to add a little to that sustaining truth. Dementia is one of the many ways all of us will evolve from this life into whatever may lay beyond. Passing on is our universal destiny. Some of those passages involve discomfort and unpleasantness. We can perhaps be a bit better prepared if we understand realistically what to expect.

That is what our story – Jonathan’s and mine – is meant to do. Help others – in an honest and caring fashion – to be prepared. Love and Blessings. Alice

Hi Jen. Thank you for your kind words about my new “What A Character!” blog. I apologize for taking a whole month to get back on board with that. The post I put out yesterday – “Ebenezer Scrooge – What A Character!” – was the second post in this endeavor. And it was inspired by you. Your suggestion that I put my previous Scrooge piece – which was originally intended for your wonderful NJRW newsletter – on my blog instead. That got me thinking about Scrooge as the character who makes A Christmas Carol sing and how well he would fit my What A Character! theme. I really enjoy writing my annual holiday story related posts. I have done several based on A Christmas Carol and one on It’s A Wonderful Life. Yesterday’s piece was a high point for me as a post-writing experience and I have you to thank for it. Thank you. Please feel free to give me advice any time. Blessings. Alice

Dear Kayelle. I love this comment of yours. “Knowing how to craft a story is not just a writer’s skill, but one for each and every person.” I totally agree. Everyone is a storyteller. From sharing anedotes with friends to concocting lies to save our bacon. I have always wished I could lead a workshop for folks who don’t consider themselves to be writers and tellers of tales. For one thing I would love to hear what they have to say. The freshness of it in particular. The closest I have ever come was a small memoir group in the northwest. Only one participant had professional writing ambitions. In the beginning each of them presented their pieces with great trepidation. They had to read aloud to the group and that alone was a huge step for them to take. The stories they told were marvelous. Often incredibly raw. I was set back on me heels time after time by what they had to say and how passionately they said it. I led three series of that ten-session group and by the time we were done I do believe they had discovered that, as you say, Storytellers rule the world – and the stories they tell can help them rule their own personal worlds as well. Thank you very much for inspiring that lovely memory for me. Blessings. Alice