Tag Archives: Motivation

A Kick-in-the-Butt Starter – Orr What? Wednesday

Kindle Bargain, Writers Life, Writing Tips, ,

Kick in the Butt imageI haven’t been blogging much lately and here’s why. I didn’t get off my butt to do it. I was indulging myself. I needed a Kick (in the Butt) Start but I wasn’t in a kicking frame of mind.

Often when I’m doing nothing I read how-to books to create the impression I’m doing something. I finish a few chapters then they languish on my bookshelves – these days on my Kindle Book Shelf.

So I began reading How to Market a Book by Joanna Penn. The title appealed for two reasons. First I need to market my new books successfully. Second I doubt I’ll be able to market my new books successfully.

I was looking for specifics from Joanna. Social media tips. Email list building ideas. That kind of thing. I didn’t think I needed her to mess with my psyche. I didn’t want her to mess with my psyche. Consequently that’s exactly what she did.

She began by snooping around in how I spend my time. I was sure I could ace that one because – even in slough-off periods like lately – I’m a hard worker. I was about to skip time management altogether when I remembered the mantra I press on everybody else to Do It Anyway and did it.

How do I spend my time now Joanna asks? Easy question. I listed my activities plus some ways to do more. When is my most creative time? Easy peasy again. Mornings. Where do I want to be in five years? I had some fantasy fun with that one.

Finally – What would I be willing to give up to make time for writing and marketing activities? I’m not going to sell the TV but I can do social media while it’s on. Then it occurred to me to modify the question. How do I indulge myself in ways I could give up to make more time?

Especially how do I indulge myself mentally? I’m going to be very honest as I answer this question here publicly. I hope I encourage you to be equally honest when you answer this question wherever you are privately.

  1. I indulge in brooding. Mostly about things I can’t possibly change. Like other people.
  2. I indulge in worry. Mostly about what’s already happened and thus also can’t be changed.
  3. I indulge in self-doubt. Mostly about what I fear I can’t do but haven’t yet tried.
  4. I indulge in anger. Toward too many irreducible targets to list.

My indulgences occur in chunks of effort and in sporadic moments. Each one is a time waster. How much productive potential would I recoup if I quit them all? There’s a kick-in-the-butt question. Or maybe it’s a kick in the head that I really need. Come on over Joanna. I’m ready.

RR

My next story is A YEAR OF SUMMER SHADOWS – Riverton Road Romantic Suspense Series Book #2 – Mark & Hailey’s Story. Launching with summer on June 22nd at amazon.com/author/aliceorr. This is my 13th novel and it’s a kick-in-the-butt story for sure. Alice Orr – www.aliceorrbooks.com.

Tribe and True – It’s True on Orr What? Wednesday

Get Published, Kindle Bargain, Writers Life, ,

Writing is a solitary gig. We sit in a room and manipulate words. Which requires focus. Which requires solitude. Other things in life require solitude too. That’s okay – except when it isn’t.

For example solitude isn’t okay at worry time. We hunker down in the dark closet of our negative brain place. We spin our worries into more and more complicated tapestries. We let those tapestries become us. We eat them like the nutcase in The Red Dragon. Remember him?

The same goes for doubting. We really know how to spin our doubts big and bigger until they suck up all the air in that narrow closet. Our doubts all begin pretty much the same. With a sentence that goes “I’m not good enough to….” You fill in the blank with your own doubts.

I know this doubt and worry closet well because I’ve spent way too much time there. Hunched in the corner with the closet bar over my head and every hanger draped in fear. I’ve spent too much time there and not one nanosecond of that time did any good Group Hug - Pooh styleat all for me or my career or anything.

Solitude also doesn’t work in our favor at question time. Google doesn’t have the answer to everything though it does a damned good job at that. But Google doesn’t have a human voice. Google can’t reach out to us from its heart or give us a reassuring smile. At least not yet.

For that we need our peeps. Unfortunately for those of us who write – a lot of the time our personal life peeps can’t help us. Because your significant other or your sister or even your regular friends most often do not know the correct answer to the following crucial question.

“When you’re staring into space, can you possibly be working?”

Civilians – meaning anybody not engaged on the battlefield of the writing/publishing wars – can’t be expected to understand that blank stares and frozen faces and arrested motion in general on the part of a writer can mean an idea is either on its way or in search of its perfect wording.

We need our tribe. In our tribe we find quirky-obsessive minds like our own. In our tribe we find inspiration and encouragement. In our tribe we find each other. We hold each other up when worry and doubt and questioning press down on us. And we are beautiful together.

I am reminding myself of all of this as I renew my own commitment to several of my tribal families. My home RWA Chapter at www.rwanyc.com. Liberty State Fiction Writers which I joined a couple of months ago at www.libertystatesfictionwriters.com. New Jersey Romance Writers which I just rejoined at http://www.njromancewriters.org/. And my local chapter of MWA where I intend to become active again after many years at http://www.mwany.org.

So I’ve been mostly absent for a while but now I’m back. Maybe I’m back to life in a way in general. How about you?

Find my books HERE.

Alice Orr – www.aliceorrbooks.com

 

This is Our Year

Kindle Bargain, Novel, Romantic Suspense, ,

AOB Fireworks2Recently a friend of mine said, “This is my selfish year.” She’s an open and generous person so I know she didn’t mean that in a narcissistic way. What she was saying – to all of us – is that it’s time to pay attention to our personal needs and goals. And it’s time to make them a priority, too.

She’s talking to those of us who tend to take care of other people – our partners, our family, our friends, the people we work with – and place ourselves near the bottom of that list. Near the bottom of the list where the dregs are. The dregs of our time, energy and commitment.

We’ve been raised, trained and continually admonished to do this. We’ve been taught that this is the way to be a good person – by not being very good to ourselves. The problem here has to do with Balance. Or, more accurately, it has to do with Imbalance.

Somebody whose word I do my usually inadequate best to follow teaches this. “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” Loving ourselves is the model for learning to love everybody else. Caring for yourself and caring for others are one and the same. It’s all about balance.

I’m not talking to those limited individuals who only think about themselves. They wouldn’t hear me anyway. Besides, in my experience, they are very much in the minority. Most of us tilt in the other direction.

Most of us are down in Dregsville trying to survive on our own leftovers. Even more unrealistically, we hope we might possibly thrive on those leftovers too. Here’s a hot flash for you. We most likely will not.

I propose an exercise. Please forgive me. I started out as a schoolteacher. Consequently, every problem prompts an exercise. So pull out a legal pad and pencil or whatever your favorite recording device may – electronic or otherwise.

Write down this question. “What do I really want for myself this year?” Not what you want for any of those other souls in your life that I listed above. This time you need to find out what you really want for you and you alone.

Forming the answer to this question may take some pondering. Or it could be right there on the tip of your tongue and at the top of your brain longing to fly forth. Let it be spoken. Allow it to soar. Write it down.

Then just let it sit for a while. In your head, in your spirit and most of all in your heart. Because this is a loving question you’re asking yourself. And it deserves to settle in deep.

Eventually – sooner rather than later I hope – you’ll make a plan. That plan will be the specific steps you must take to get to what you really want for yourself this year. You’ll write those steps down too. Because it’s good to document and this document is a promise to yourself.

Next – and this is your promise to me – you will start taking those specific steps. One by one or maybe even two at a time. Moving steadily toward where you really want to be. You will do that because – This is Our Year.

Find my books at amazon.com/author/aliceorr.

Alice Orr – www.aliceorrbooks.com