Dear Caroline. You have commented on my blog posts in the past. I invite you to explore my most recent series. It is titled “Oh No I’m a Caregiver – Dementia – Our Cautionary Story.” These posts are of special significance to me. Dementia appears to be a reality destined to assault all of our lives in one way or another eventually. I believe that the story I have to tell – through my initial post and others yet to come at – has valuable insights to offer. For this reason, I hope you will read it and pass it on to others so that they might benefit from what I am learning and from those insights.

For example… My husband Jonathan, who has recently been diagnosed with dementia, is actually quite fine at this early stage. He is engaged in lots of cognitively powerful activities. He writes original memoir pieces that are very good and says this is the result of sitting in on so many of my writing workshops over the past forty-five years. He now finds more joy in writing than the drawing and music that were his usual creative pursuits in the past. This is good because, as you know, portraying characters and composing scenes require a deep level of focus and detail concentration which is very beneficial for him. He also loves jigsaw puzzling – the 1500-piece variety. Again much concentration is required plus he has fond memory associations of doing puzzles with his mom when he was a boy. He also reads a lot – challenging books, as well as his favorite New York Times articles. He does regular physical exercise and has also begun gardening at our church which has a large planted space in sore need of attention. Medically, he is taking a basic drug that has disappeared his brain fog for the timebeing. We also have excellent medical professionals on our team and on our side.

Dementia is not like the tv commercials portray it to be. Their purpose is to ramp up fear and sell very expensive, very dangerous drugs. There is a long, gradual period before extreme changes begin, and the aggressiveness these ads emphasize can often be mitigated with simple mood medications that are harmless and affordable.

Meanwhile, there is a real-life story to be told here of real-life experience. I hope you will read and share it. Dementia is a reality for many of us and, unfortunately, promises to be a reality for many more. Truth is our best armor against being cast into despair by the prospect. I hope to add a little to that sustaining truth. Dementia is one of the many ways all of us will evolve from this life into whatever may lay beyond. Passing on is our universal destiny. Some of those passages involve discomfort and unpleasantness. We can perhaps be a bit better prepared if we understand realistically what to expect.

That is what our story – Jonathan’s and mine – is meant to do. Help others – in an honest and caring fashion – to be prepared. Love and Blessings. Alice

Hi Kathleen Pooler. I’m looking forward to a new beginning too. I know that those of us with open hearts will allow one another that newness and you are definitely one of those people. Happy New Year and thanks for your valuable support in 2016. Love and Blessings. Alice

Dear Caroline Clemmons. Happy New Year and thanks for your support in 2016. I hope the coming months are easier and brighter for you. I believe what I talk about in this post is a profound problem because longstanding relationships are threatened. Friendships have been compromised. Trust has weakened. We are in danger of losing deep connections that have been nurtured over years of contact and shared experience. This is no small thing and we can all be diminished by it. As writers we most often work in isolation which makes friendship and support all the more precious to us. It is my conviction that we shouldn’t sacrifice our relationships, especially not over political positions which are always subject to change. Forgiveness will be needed. Understanding will be required. And above all loving consideration and respect mean everything. None of this is simple or without obstacles, but I hope against all odds we will make the effort to restore one another’s trust and repair one another’s hearts. That is my prayer for 2017. Love and Blessings. Alice