Dearest Alfie. You have read some of my past blog posts and I deeply appreciate that. I hope you will also explore my most recent series. It is titled “Oh No I’m a Caregiver – Dementia – Our Cautionary Story.” These posts are of special significance to me. Dementia appears to be a reality destined to assault all of our lives in one way or another eventually. I believe that the story I have to tell – through my initial post and others yet to come at – has valuable insights to offer. For this reason, I hope you will read it and maybe even pass it on to others so that they might benefit from what I am learning and from those insights.

As you already know, my husband Jonathan was recently diagnosed with dementia. He is actually quite fine at this early stage of the disease. He is engaged in lots of cognitively powerful activities. He writes original memoir pieces that are very good and says this is the result of sitting in on so many of my writing workshops over my past forty-five years of such presentations. He now finds more joy in writing than the drawing and music that were his usual creative pursuits in the past. This is good because, as you know, portraying characters and composing scenes require a deep level of focus and detail concentration. This is very beneficial for him. He also loves jigsaw puzzling – the 1500-piece variety. Again much concentration is required plus he has fond memory associations of doing puzzles with his mom when he was a boy. He also reads a lot – challenging books, as well as his favorite New York Times articles. He does regular physical exercise and has begun gardening at our church which has a large planted space in sore need of attention. Medically, he is taking a basic drug that has disappeared his brain fog for the timebeing. We also have excellent medical professionals on our team and on our side.

Dementia is not like the tv commercials portray it to be. Their purpose is to ramp up fear and sell very expensive, very dangerous drugs. There is a long, gradual period before extreme changes begin, and the aggressiveness these ads emphasize can often be mitigated with simple mood medications that are harmless and affordable.

Meanwhile, there is a real-life story to be told here of real-life experience. I hope you will read and share it. Dementia is a reality for many of us and, unfortunately, promises to be a reality for many more. Truth is our best armor against being cast into despair by the prospect. I hope to add a little to that sustaining truth. Dementia is one of the many ways all of us will evolve from this life into whatever may lie beyond. Passing on is our universal destiny. Some of those passages involve discomfort and unpleasantness. We can perhaps be a bit better prepared if we understand realistically what to expect. That is what our story – Jonathan’s and mine – is meant to do. Help others – in an honest and caring fashion – to be prepared.

On the personal side, I hope you are doing well. I pray for you and your family every day. I hope we will have the chance to chat again sometime soon. Thank you for being such an important part of my life for so very long. Love and Blessings. Alice

Dear Alfie. I feel the same way about this old Frank Capra film and the Christmas season. I have a collection of holiday films in DVD and this is always the first one I watch. It sends the season into its proper tone for me. It reminds me of what matters most in life – or at least in my life. Family. Compassion. Generosity. Faith in basic goodness. Belief in our selves. I contend that the last of those makes all the rest possible. Have a wonderful holiday season and a wonderful life. May your secondary characters – and your primary ones – all thrive in your storytelling and in your everyday life. You richly deserve all of that. Love and Blessings. Alice

Dear Kayelle. Whatever works for you is right for you. My grandmother used to say “The proof is in the pudding.” Your pudding is very tasty indeed. And you have certainly found your road to the Wonderful Writer’s Life. May you be blessed with sure footing there always. Love and Blessings. Alice